As I walked along the beach one evening this week, I got an unexpected expected call. One of my best friends, KT, died in the hospital today after three years of battling cancer. He had been in the hospital for a week or so, but the end was devastatingly rapid. As I walked with my wife and daughter, we talked about how much KT loved the beach, and that he would be so happy we were there thinking about him. We talked of washers, horseshoes, volleyball, football, and even a soccer game, all played at the beach with KT. He and his family are woven into our lives in so many ways I never really stopped to think about them. Meeting at Baylor. Our kids growing up together. Church together. Trips together. Families interwoven. Friendships interwoven. Lives interwoven.

So now we have a new chapter. The circle is down one. I stood on the beach and had a literal kaleidoscope of memories wash over me. Too many to call out, but somehow, all of them were good. And it hit me, that was who KT was. He was a good man. He loved his family, his friends, and his God. He sang, he cheered his Bears on, and loved to play cards. In fact, KT just loved life. He was quick to open his home up, quick to share what he had, even in those times when he didn’t have much to share. My life, my families life, and our circle of friends is so much richer and fuller because of KT.

As I think about him now, pain free, healed, and home, I smile for him. The tears I have are selfish tears. I am humbled to think about all the life we’ve shared, and struggling with how it all changes. I think poker games won’t quite be the same, how the hunt will be somehow empty, and how Baylor games will just be less. I ache for his wife, and his family, and think how shallow my loss is compared to theirs. At the same time, I hope they find comfort knowing that he left a beautiful legacy for them, and that he is deeply loved and missed. Part of me says this is too soon to write anything, that I am still struggling to process this loss. And that very well may be true, so I ask for grace where I fall short with my words. Even now, I am trying to find how to be grateful in this pain, knowing that only things of great value cause this much pain.

The highest praise I can say for my friend, is that he lived a life worthy of the calling he received, and our lives are better for having him and his family woven into ours, and into our circle. Grace and peace.

I’ve been reading a thought provoking book on Ecclesiastes by David Gibson – “Living Life Backward”. The book centers on death, and the perspective that death can give us if we will allow ourselves to go there. I’ll leave that particular topic for another day. For today, Gibson reminds us that one of the central themes from Solomon is that we should, actually, we are commanded by God, to enjoy the gifts He has given us. Life, sunshine, rain, a cool breeze, dinner, friendship, our spouse, and so on. We should make the most of every day with every fiber of our being. Today is a gift, life is a gift. We are to live live with joy and enjoy what our Creator has gifted us with today.

I find that distressingly hard some days. Too many times, I’m deep in the what if’s, the what could have been’s, and the what could be’s. Other times I’m wading through the to do’s, the daily tasks of life, and I miss the mark. I miss the sunrise, the clear cloudless sky that’s a piercingly bright blue. I miss the sweetness of my wife’s voice saying good morning. Often, I just miss.

I will add that this is a choice. And often it’s a choice that includes an “even though”. As I barrel head long into old age (how it hurts my shallow pride to say that), I am daily faced with the reality of what I can’t do like I used to. I am faced with friends and loved ones walking hard roads. And all of us one day nearer to Home.

Today, I choose to be grateful, to see what is right in front of me. I choose not to have the “even though” be more than the gifts. I choose not to allow the shadow of the unknown to cloud the sun outside. I choose to trust in the One who knows all, sees all, and who will bring me safely home.

One last thought. Joy is related to peace, like excitement is related to happiness. Joy and peace come from inside, they are solid, unchangeable, and based on what I know, and who I know. Excitement and happiness come externally. They are temporary, based on my circumstances, and subject to change like the wind. They never last. So today, may we all choose to see the gifts we have been given, even though. May we walk today with joy and peace, calm in the certainty of His presence, and gracefully aware of the beauty of today.

Grace and Peace

On a normal day, I have an amazing view out my backyard of hills, trees, and woods. Usually, I can see several miles out to the horizon, and I manage to watch the sunset more days than not. A week ago, the winter storm rolled in, bringing a change of scenery. As I looked out, there was nothing to see but clouds and fog. Visibility was barely fifty feet, it was like there was nothing beyond my little backyard.

As I sat there, I had the thought that this is a bit of what heaven and earth must be like with a kingdom view. All I could see was “my” yard. Beyond what is “mine”, there was nothing. It’s frighteningly easy for life to be like that. All we see is our little world, all we care about, and all we work for and on, is “our” world. Yet I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there is a huge, vast wilderness behind my yard, it’s simply hidden by the fog. As Christ followers, the temptation is strong to keep working on our yard, to ignore the reality of how much more there is beyond what we can see right in front of us.

1 Corinthians says that for now we see through a glass darkly, but then face to face. What we see is so small, the tip of the iceberg. A kingdom perspective reminds us of the vast unseen – the power of prayer, the reality of angels and demons, the calling each Christ follower has, the inevitability of death, and the reality of heaven.

May we all see beyond the earthly fog and dwell in the unseen vastness of Christ.

Grace and peace

So much has changed in the world. And yet, so much is the same. No need to review the changes that a world wide pandemic have wrought, we all live those changes and challenges daily. What is much the same, is the human heart. Or least mine is. I still struggle to keep my focus on eternity. My heart still instinctually moves toward the worries of finances, the allure of things, and the mirage of appearances. I would love to say this time of increased isolation has lead me to greater introspection of my heart, my focus, and my awareness of the kingdom. I would love to say that, but I won’t. Because it hasn’t happened. My heart and mind are still oriented to the here, now, and physical world, not the eternal, invisible, and the everlasting. My heart and mind are perhaps even less in tune to the Kingdom as fear, worry, and safety have overridden almost everything else.

As Christmas draws near, I am also reminded how challenging it can be to focus on more than presents, prime day, black friday, cyber monday, giving tuesday, and world wide web wednesday. Ok, so the last one isn’t a thing, yet, but give it time, it might stick. In the midst of all “this”, may all Christ followers, starting with me, be intentional. Be intentional with our thoughts, our focus, and our gift giving. May we find ways to honor Him in all we do and all we say in this Christmas season.

I am ashamed to admit that I get a bit tired of the story of baby Jesus in the manager, and no room in the inn, and the longest donkey trip recored in the bible (is it?). Instead, I am striving to be intentional and rest in the greater story, the story of a God who loves. A God who loves intentionally, everlastingly, and all encompassingly. And a God who loves me like that. Me, just as I am, not as I think I am. Me, with all my flaws, all my faults, all my pettiness, all my humanness. The beauty of Christmas is love. God’s love.

Grace and peace

Life seems to be accelerating right now.  Maybe you feel it as well.  When was the last time you went for a relaxed walk?  Or had a quiet dinner with friends at home?  Or curled up and read a book on the couch under a blanket?  On the rare occasion I do, there’s always a little voice telling me I’m being a slacker and getting even further behind.  Today always seems to be filled with more than can be done, the to-do list, work, cleaning, little things like sleep, and then of course there’s exercise, quiet time, and prayer.  That’s before we add in quality time with spouse, family, or friends.

My new gauge of how life is going in terms of pace is my response to friends when they ask how I’m doing.  Busy is the first thought that comes to mind.  I’m busy is my standard answer, followed by a little explanation of all that I’m trying to get done and all that I’ve recently completed.

I believe that life is on the verge of being utterly and completely destroyed by busy.  Busy is the new mark of success, of meaning, of relevance. The busier we are, the more value we think we have, to ourselves, and to others.  When did we become too busy, and too important for the simple pleasures of life? You get to define simple pleasures, but I’m pretty sure it involves less social media, less electronics in general, more solitude, more face to face time with live people, more nature, and probably more coffee in a mug, not a to go cup.

If this resonates with you, the logical question is what do I do about it?  That’s what I’m asking myself right now.  The obvious answer revolves around finding meaning, purpose, and confidence in Christ.  It’s not in stuff, it’s not in more, and it’s certainly not in being even busier.

Let me suggest the pursuit of less.  Less of this world specifically.  Christ set the example, and by the worlds standards, he pretty low on the material and financial ladder of His day.  Not only was He unconcerned about it, He was intentional in his pursuit of less in His life.  With only three years to change the world, you would think He would have spent every day with huge crowds, adding new believers, teaching any and all, building a massive base of disciples to take over for Him. Instead, we see the exact opposite. We see him build the kingdom on 12 men, 11 really.  He often left them to be alone to spend time in prayer.  He spent time with people, one on one.  He sat with His disciples and His friends and told stories, ate, and shared life.  He invested Himself and His time vastly differently than most of us do now.

So if busy defines your life, let me suggest a change.  Less really may be more.  Sit on the front porch with some coffee and a friend and talk about it.

Grace and Peace

Have to be honest, it’s been a particularly hard season around here the last few months.  The pressures of life have been  particularly heavy on me.  My word for the year, Faith, has been tested often.  Reading Acts 16, I see Paul and Silas casting a demon out of a young girl, which leads to them being attacked by a mob, “beaten with rods”, and then thrown in jail and locked in stocks.  Verse 25 is what prompted me to write this morning – “about midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them.”   I want that passion and faith that rises above the situation.

At some point, I had made a note in the margin next to that verse that simply said “praise in the face of persecution”.  I realize that joy and peace are not dependent on circumstances.  Too often, I live upside down.  My peace is a direct reflection of my financial security.  Faith is confidence in what we don’t see, and I am coming to grips with the reality that my faith is weak.

So I am choosing faith today that God is truly greater than my circumstances, that He is not surprised by the trials and heartbreaks of this life, and that He is using the grinding of this world to refine me into a vessel worthy of the high calling of God.  The purification of silver and gold only comes under extreme heat.

Today I will pray, sing hymns to God, and have faith, even in the midst of this.

Grace and Peace

Today is day of loss and remembrance for my family.  Two years ago we lost the matriarch of the family.  We lost her suddenly, unexpectedly, and therefore tragically.  For all of us, it was traumatic, for some of us there with her, it was especially so.  In many ways, she was the glue of our extended family.  She brought life and laughter with her.  She was probably the best listener I’ve ever known, and was always willing to be there and just listen.  She had a gift that made people feel comfortable around her, she had a sweet gentle kindness that wrapped you up when you were with her.

Grief is a strange thing.  Nothing prepares you for it.  It’s like trying to explain a hole.  How do you tell someone about emptiness?  How do you describe the nothingness that now exists in a place inside you that used to be filled to overflowing?  I’m pretty sure grief never fully goes away.  Because grief seems to be the opposite side of love.  The more you love, the more you grieve.  So I guess in that respect, it’s a good thing, because I would never trade the love to make the grief go away.  Not now, not ever.  Grief is a bit like surfing, strange analogy, but bear with me.  Learning to surf (grieve) is so hard at first, it’s nothing but getting thrashed by waves, pummeled by them, and ending up head over heels in the water and almost drowning.  But in time, you get better.  You stay up longer on the board, and spend less time nearly drowning.  Then suddenly, you are riding a wave, the sun’s in your face, the wind is blowing, and you are living.  You laugh with less grief, then you laugh with no guilt.  All of a sudden you are living life, experiencing joy, and knowing that’s exactly what she would want you to do.

Make no mistake, at the same time, the loss is there, just under you, present, but not trying to drown you every moment.  And yes, at times the spray of the water blinds you and you struggle to stay up, and yes, at times the wave catches up and takes you under.  Those times get fewer, and you’re hammered into the sand less often, but it still happens.  It will happen the rest of your life, because the love that made the grief possible, never goes away either.  So I think there’s beauty in grief, it makes us fully human.  We love, we lose, we carry on, we laugh, we cry, we rejoice, we weep.  May you always be surrounded by your people in those moments.  Those moments when the wave catches up and takes you down.

Today the wind is blowing hard, the spray is in our faces, and honestly, the wave will probably come up over the top of many of us today.  I wish we were all together as we go tumbling head over heels into the water, holding hands as we feel like we are drowning.  Today we remember our mighty woman of God, she was such a blessing.  Our loss is her gain, because where she is there’s no more sorry, no more pain.  For us, today is a day to mourn, cry, love, remember, and eventually laugh.  Just as she would want us to.  We miss you Muzzy.

Grace and Peace.

Matthew 13 starts with the parable of the Sower.  A pretty simple story, as most of Christ’s stories were, about a farmer out sowing seeds.  You’re probably familiar with it, some seed lands on the path and get eaten by birds.  Some seeds land in rocky soil, where they grow briefly, then die out when the sun scorches them (because they have no roots).  Other seed falls among thorns, which eventually chokes out the plants.  Lastly, some seed falls on good soil and produces a crop of 30, 60, or 100 times what was sown.

Like I said, pretty simple story.  And pretty much every time I’ve heard it preached, it’s all about the good soil and how we Christ followers are to go and multiply and do great amazing things.  Good stuff.  But I’m actually more interested in the seeds that fall in with thorns.

Here’s Christ’s explanation of the seeds that fell among the thorns – “the seeds falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful.”  Anyone surprised that the worries of this life can make you unfruitful?  Christ talks about worry in several other verses, with Matthew 6:25-34 being one of the longest discourses on worry.   Take home message – worry makes us unfruitful.

The deceitfulness of wealth was the phrase that really grabbed me and wouldn’t let go.  First, wealth is deceitful,  it promises happiness, peace, and security, and provides none of them.  I wish we (me) could really know this.  All the time and energy we spend chasing wealth, and in the end, it’s all a lie.   Even more interesting is that the deceitfulness of wealth chokes the word. As in, the Word.  The lies of money kills the power of the Word.  That’s a powerful warning, and a really frightening message from Christ.  The end result?  We are unfruitful.

Last point.  Notice that the good plants (seeds) grew up right alongside the thorns.  They both had roots, both withstood the sun, and both grew.  And they were both unfruitful.  In fact, it doesn’t look like there was much difference between the seeds and the thorns, right up to the point that the thorns “choked the plants”.   Strong words.  Think about it for a minute, the seeds are growing up right along with the thorns, and then at some point, the thorns choked the plants.  When Christ explained it to his disciples, he said the seeds were unfruitful, in other words, they had exactly the same impact as the thorns did –  none.  No fruit.  The seeds were designed to bear fruit, and they didn’t.  The thorns choked them out.

We are here for a purpose, here on a mission.  Our mission is to bring glory to God, and go to the uttermost parts of the world and preach salvation through Christ.  We are designed to be in the  war between God and Satan.  We are actually the front line, and we are also the only hope for the lost to hear salvation.  Too many of us are content to quietly grow in the thorns, just happy to be here, buying the lies of wealth, making time to go to church, give a little money, read our bibles occasionally, and pretty much be indistinguishable from the thorns all around us, bearing no fruit.  Christ followers, time for us to stop buying the deceitfulness of wealth, and get back on mission.

Grace and Peace

Quick question – what is God telling you right now?  What is He working on in you, what God dream are you pursuing, and what is He calling you to?  I suggest you should be able to answer in less time than it takes me to write this.   If your answer was quick and easy, keep pressing on.  If not, keep reading.

Follow up question – when is the last time you were alone?  Before you answer, let me give you my definition of being alone.  Alone is just you.  No social media, no games on your phone, actually, no phone period.  It’s really rare to be that kind of alone anymore.  I saw a statistic that over 90% of people are never farther than 6 feet from their phone 365 days a year.  The phone and social media is our new way to be connected.  Many of us have hundreds of “friends” on facebook.  If you’re cool and hip, you live on snapchat. By the way, what’s your longest snapchat streak?

Honestly, I’m not here to bash social media, my point is that I believe being alone is necessary to being a Christ follower, and that it’s hard to do, doing so requires being intentional about it.

As a Christ follower, we are called to do what He did, and pattern our lives after His.  The disciples followed Him around to do just that, they ate what He ate, slept where He slept, and literally walked in His footsteps.  Then, after the resurrection, they set off down the path He had spent 3 years modeling for them.   During that time, one of the recurring patterns in the life of Christ was for Him to be alone.  The first example that comes to mind is the forty days in the desert that included an encounter with Satan.  Other examples – “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” Mark 1:35. “Jesus went out to a mountain side to pray, and spent the night praying to God. When morning came, he called his disciples to him.” Luke 6:12-13.  “After his brothers had gone up to the feast, then [Jesus] also went up, not publicly but in private.” (John 7:10, ESV).  Jesus walked 90 miles from Galilee to Jerusalem, which gave him about five days in solitude.  I could go on and on with examples, but you get the point.

Why is being alone so critical?  Christ used the time to pray, to connect with His father, to prepare for the road ahead of Him.

So back to my question, when was the last time you were alone?  Alone with your thoughts, alone with Christ, alone and doing some soul searching?  Even when we are by ourselves, we are usually not alone.  When is the last time you prayed for more than 5 minutes?  How about thirty minutes?  The 2 minute daily devotional (on our phone) is great, but what about real time spent in the bible?  I love that someone said the ultimate purpose of facebook will be to prove that we did indeed have enough time to do all that we were called to do in this world.

Being alone is critical to understand, define, and build your foundation, your core.  So much of our life is focused on how to do more, achieve more, become more, earn more and so on.  Christ calls us to be less focused on the world, and more focused on Him.  The bible talks about Christ followers having peace and rest.  Those are spiritual places of quiet.  The stillness of the soul, and the keeping of kingdom perspective requires stepping away from the world and being still and quiet.  And quiet requires being alone.

I challenge you, and me, to learn to be alone in a good way.  Learn to examine yourself, to know yourself, to be honest with yourself, and then come to like yourself.  These things can only be done by a focused and solitary pursuit of them.  They are too fragile to exist in the press of life or the company of others.  But the very fragility of them reveals how precious and rare they are, and therefore how critical they are to draw near to God.

I started this by asking what is God telling you right now, and if you had any questions about that, I suggest it may be time to be alone and be with God.  Be in His Word.  Make time to listen for that still small voice that hovers on the edge, waiting to be heard over the press of the daily to do list.  Hold the mirror up, see that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, and know that He is God.

Grace and peace

Have you ever reached a point in your life when you look around and say to yourself, this is not what I thought my life would look like?  When you did a life inventory, and didn’t like what you counted?  Maybe it was the realization that you would never have that lake house, or the beach house, or cabin in the mountains.  Maybe it was when you realized that your husband was never going to be the romantic, caring, listening, patient, loving man that seems to be in every romantic movie on screen.  Or that your wife had put on a few pounds, and didn’t look quite the same as the Sports Illustrated models do.  Maybe it was looking at the mounting credit card debt, or how small the 401k really is right now.  When your children disappoint you.  Perhaps it was when you were diagnosed with cancer, or Alzheimer’s.  Or when your parents died, or your spouse, or even the death of a child.

At some point, most of us think “this is not how it was supposed to turn out”.  The hopes and dreams that drove us when we were young, or even when we were kids, somehow have been lost along the way.  The thing that we just knew would make us content, that perfect situation that would be so healing to our hearts, it’s simply gone.  And it’s not coming back.

What happened?  I’m the first to say I don’t have many answers to hard questions like this.  What I do know is that maybe, just maybe, our hopes and dreams are in the wrong place.  What if we really are “ambassadors” here on earth as Paul calls us?  That means we don’t belong, that our citizenship is elsewhere, and that we are by definition different than those around us.  What if we really sought His kingdom first and foremost?  What if we really loved the Lord our God with all our hearts, minds, and souls?  Would that somehow change our hopes and dreams?

I believe it does.  James and John were fishermen.  I imagine their hopes and dreams centered around a better net, a bigger boat, and fish prices going up.  Maybe they wanted a bigger house, or to move to closer to the water.  What we know, is that when Christ called them, they walked away.  They literally walked away from their old life.  They chose a new Lord, and He gave them new hopes, new dreams, and a new purpose.  Once they saw the resurrected Lord in all His glory, I don’t think they ever sat around and wished for their old boat back.  Instead, they set the world upside down, they were martyred for Him, they were homeless and destitute, yet they were filled with joy and overflowing with the Holy Spirit.

What if the verses that say ask and you shall receive are true?  Could it be true that if we seek Christ with everything we have, if we truly make Him Lord in our lives, then our hearts would be changed? Would our deepest hopes and dreams become centered around Christ and His kingdom?  Would we actually have a peace that passes understanding?  Would we be willing to give, maybe even to give sacrificially?  Would we finally see the world and all our heartbreaks as light and momentary troubles as Paul says in II Cor?

I chose to believe the answer is yes.  I chose to believe that what Christ says is true, that He comes to give us life abundantly.  I believe that abundant life has literally nothing to do with health, wealth, or prosperity.  It has everything to do with peace, joy, love, purpose, and His Kingdom.  I believe a Christ follower can and should live an abundant life in the face of worldly adversity, heartbreak, and shattered dreams.  I believe that too often we willingly shackle ourselves to the chains of this world when the key to abundant life sits at our feet.

Grace and Peace