I had the privilege of sitting with a good friend of mine and just listening. Listening while he unloaded some of the fear and anxiety he carries every day. He’s worried about not having enough money for retirement, and being too old to fix it. His wife’s health, and the possibility of her dying keep him up at night sometimes. Worried that his relationship with his adult children is not solid enough, wondering why they don’t call more, why they don’t ask for wisdom, or even just keep him up to date on their lives. Wondering if he afford to stay in his home for a few more years. What if he loses his job? Will there be time and money and health to do the traveling he and his wife had planned? Will the cancer come back? So many things that could go wrong. Death, disease, illness, financial loss, relationships.

Very few, if any, people who know him would have any idea that fear has such a deep hold on my friend. I didn’t. From the outside, he has an amazing life. A great home, a beautiful wife, two amazing grown children that everyone loves, a job he excels in, and a strong group of friends. Even is a member of a bible believing and preaching church.

As I listened, so many thoughts and reponses came to mind, but in a rare moment of wisdom, I held my tongue and simply listened. I realized that he “knew” the so called right answers – don’t worry, trust God, pray, read the bible daily. He knew all this, and yet. And yet it wasn’t enough. Head knowledge does not equal heart knowledge. And platitudes don’t have much power at 3 AM in the middle of a panic attack. In Matthew 6:25-34, Jesus talks about not worrying, or more accurately, not having anxiety about what we will eat or drink. Or what we will wear. Or how long our life will be. We are not even to worry, or have anxiety, about tomorrow, as today has enough for us to handle.

Fear usually comes from lack of control. It’s crazy hard for us to grasp our utter lack of control. Yet that is exactly what God calls us to grasp. He calls us to trust, have faith in what we can not see, and to know – deeply and truly – that He is in control, no matter how it feels to us. We have to fight our hard wired need to control our lives, to know we can pay our bills, to know we can retire, to know, to know, to know.

So Christ led His disciples in a model prayer, and asked for daily bread. He told them, and us, not to worry about our life, what we will eat or drink, about our body, or what we will wear. He says do not worry over and over, and then gives us the answer to fear – But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

So the antidote to fear is to seek Him. To put our focus on kingdom issues, not on our wants and desires. So much easier said than done. So I’ll close with one of my favorite sayings – its simple, but hard. I’m working to live that out, and praying for the chance to talk with my friend again, and maybe we can encourage each other to seek Him. Encourage each other to embrace our faith. Encourage each other to trust that He who called us is worthy and true. Hard stuff for sure.

May we all learn to do hard well. Grace and peace.